As you begin planning your wedding celebration—from the ceremony to the reception to what you’ll wear on the big day—it’s important not to overlook one pre-wedding ritual: the rehearsal dinner. This dinner often kicks off the festivities and can be one of the most meaningful parts of your nuptials.
There are some important traditions and details you should consider when planning your rehearsal dinner. We’ve created a checklist that will help take the guesswork out of the process.
Read more: Find out how you can save more ahead of your big day.
1. Determine the budget and who’s paying
While the groom’s parents traditionally host a rehearsal dinner, this has changed in the modern era. Either one family can offer to foot the bill, both sides of the family can agree to split costs, or the soon-to-be newlyweds can pay for it themselves. Sometimes, all three parties may want to chip in. As you begin to put together a budget for your overall wedding expenses, have a discussion (in person, if possible) with all involved parties to align on a budget and who’s paying for what. This will minimize stress for all involved as the big day draws closer.
2. Figure out who’s on the guest list
Don’t worry: The guest list for the rehearsal dinner is typically smaller than that of the wedding. Depending on budget, you can limit it to the wedding party (since the event usually follows the ceremony rehearsal).
If you have budget to invite additional guests, like those visiting from out of town or close friends and family that aren’t in the wedding party, they can be added to the celebration as well. If you plan a destination wedding, it’s proper etiquette to invite everyone on the guest list—unless you schedule it for the day before your other guests arrive.
3. Find a meaningful venue
The venue for your rehearsal dinner should be able to accommodate the number of guests on your list while staying within your budget. However, capacity and cost shouldn’t be the only factors you consider when scouting potential locations. Perhaps there’s a restaurant that holds a special place in your heart—whether you had your first date or celebrated your engagement there—or there’s a local haunt that specializes in the type of cuisine you both love. You also may want to choose a venue where you can rent a private area and follow up the rehearsal dinner with a welcome party (budget permitting, of course).
4. Be savvy about the seating chart
Since a rehearsal dinner tends to have a more selective group of friends and family in attendance, you may want to be particularly thoughtful with your seating arrangements. Not only does it help guests feel comfortable at the event when you seat them next to folks they’ve met at least once before, but it also makes it easier for the venue to identify any guests with dietary restrictions who requested specially prepared meals in advance. If you have a large number of guests who don’t know each other, consider seating them next to someone with common interests. Regardless of how you organize the seating, be sure to reserve the two best seats in the house for yourselves.
5. Come up with a menu that reflects your wedding style
If you’re throwing a formal wedding, it makes sense to plan a fancier rehearsal dinner as well. There are tons of creative ways you can elevate the menu. Chat with your caterers or the restaurant in advance to see what off-the-menu options are available for an upcharge. You can also talk with the bartender or sommelier to create a signature cocktail or wine pairing to go with the meal. Be sure to ask guests in advance about any food allergies or dietary restrictions to make sure they will be able to enjoy at least some of the dishes on offer.
6. Invite guests to give speeches
One of the most heartwarming parts of a rehearsal dinner is the speeches family and friends give throughout the night. While speeches on this night are traditionally reserved for the parents of the groom, a couple can ask any one of their guests to prepare a speech. Be sure to give potential speakers plenty of advance notice (a week or two minimum) and, if needed, chat with the venue staff to arrange for microphones so everyone can hear the toasts without straining.
7. Enhance the ambiance
While many venues may already have décor, it’s possible to personalize the space for your dinner by bringing in small floral arrangements, place card holders or other decorative accents. Communicate with your venue to see what's provided and what you can and can’t bring onsite.A final tip? If you’re in a private room or space, be sure to curate a playlist of your favorite tunes to help create a mood that fits the style of the event.
